Part 1 – I’m Done With Mediocrity (The Why)

The Why

I’m 29, living in Europe, and I’m done with a life that looks fine on paper but feels small. I’m rebuilding to trade “stable” for standards – and to hold myself accountable.

What Wasn’t Working

I was born with cerebral palsy. That’s not what’s “wrong.” I’ve had surgeries, I don’t use a wheelchair, and I’ve made peace with the body I live in. I was just a little bit unlucky that’s all. I started in a school for special needs kids but thanks to a friend I gave the „normal“ school a try. Academics came easily; those years were a breeze without needing to do much. Around the same time, I discovered a para sport (think wheelchair tennis). I climbed leagues, made junior national teams, and set my sights on the Paralympics – until a shoulder injury at sixteen buried that dream during my most formative years. I tried to come back many times. It just never was quite the same

University & Burnout

After a dual-study program (high school + job training), I went to university for computer science the thing I’d loved since my early teens. Then the cracks showed. Being “the smart kid” meant I’d never learned how to learn. My health slid. I remember an 8:00 a.m. exam and sprinting to a restroom at 7:55 to throw up. I came home and stared at a wall for two hours. After wasting the better part of two years, I quit. My weight was dropping. So was my pride.

The Mismatch Job

During the pandemic, I took an assistant role in IT – low pay, low agency. I told myself it was what I deserved and, unsurprisingly, I got exactly that. By Thursday afternoons I was counting the minutes. On a whim, I applied to a work-study program and got in at the last minute. At twenty-seven, I started again, chasing the bachelor’s degree that had been haunting me. It was a step forward – but the bigger question remained: is this all life has to offer?

Next – Part Two

Thanks for reading. You now know the why and where I came from. Next up – Part Two: the heartbreak that became a catalyst and the roadmap I’ll use to move from “fine” to fulfilling. Join me.